fake boyfriends - now and forever

today's post will be picture heavy. that's not necessarily a bad thing if you're attracted to men. I figured i would post and explain the fake boyfriend phenomenon. there's no way i'll get to ALL of my fake boyfriends, but the few who make the cut should give you a nice slice of what it's like to live in my brain. *not pictured, are any fake boyfriends from literature, who do not have images on google, due to their non-existence. i'll do my best to explain why each of the below men are so totally and completely awesome, i'm sure the pictures will suffice/speak for themselves.

sit back, relax and enjoy. today is a delicious day. delicious for your eyes. and your libido, no doubt (that is, again, if you like men).





dane cook. we talked about him yesterday. he's the inspiration for today's explaination/expansion on the "fake boyfriend" thing i have going on. basically my love affair started several years ago, when his comedy central special hit the air. allison and i quoted it incessantly, so much so that my mom began to quote it, without ever having seen it. THAT is power. since then i've seen him live (at fordham) where i hugged his sweat drenched body and didn't shower for weeks afterward (kidding, it was only two days). his attraction lies first in his humor, second in his voice - how can you resist his boston accent - and third in his looks....which just so happen to be hot hot hot.







patrick fugit. i actually have an away message, "patrick fugit is my boyfriend." from after i first saw saved. but i loved him in almost famous too. and spun. and white oleander. and literally everything else he's ever done. his allure is in his potential - as an actor and human being. oh so young, oh so cute. total boyfriend material.














wentworth miller. the name oozes "grandpa" yet placed with that face, is undeniably sexy. i recently discovered prison break, and am so glad that i did. a whole hour of this lucious face intently staring into the camera? yes please. sign me up. then i watched underworld (he's in it for a second) and can't deny that i find him smokin' hot with glasses. yum. but seriously, whoever thought to have him shirtless so much on television should be given a medal of honor.






peter wentz. of fall out boy fame. i've posted his picture before. his smile kills me, but so does his goofy nature. sometimes i think it might be overkill, that maybe he's playing the part of the scorned high school lover...because seriously - who would ever break up with that. he's geek chic. sexy. exotic looking. with a smile that can stop my heart from beating. oh, i mentioned that already? well, it can! i was not amused however, when those pictures of his cash and prizes ended up on the interweb however.




bradley whitford. a decidedly less mainstream hot, yet still one of the hottest men i can think/daydream about. his sex appeal lies (unfortunately) completely with the fast talking brainiac he plays on television-Josh Lyman (west wing). now that west wing is over, he's got another show coming up though, and i hope with aaron sorkin at the helm, bradley will keep me wondering why the hell he doesn't leave jane kazwhatshername and marry me instead. i love to hear him talk. and raise his eyebrow like that. good god someone get me a cold towel or something.









Jeremy Piven. Sweet Sassy Molassy. would you just LOOK at the man? i don't know if i really need to get into it here. i fully think his arms, five o'clock shadow and sly grin speak for themselves. damn i wish i still had hbo. i'm going to miss entourage something fierce. i guess i'll have to sustain myself on this photo alone.



I was going to grab a photo of Tyler Florence for this spot, but i decided against it. because i want tyler florence for myself. i'm not sharing his hotness on my blog. that would be wrong. so instead, grabbing the spot on the blog, and in my heart, of fake chef boyfriend, Harold Dieterle from Bravo's TOP CHEF. top chef, like every other reality show, is so completely addicting. i started watching once they got the really dumb people out of the way, and once i noticed harold, couldn't stop. this picture does not do him justice. what is it about a man chopping vegetables that's so appealing? i have no idea. maybe it's the notion that he's "taking care of" me, or at least could. harold is also the only one on this list that i could (in a very unreal way) actually date. he's from New York, he's 28....his bio didn't mention a wife or girlfriend...so yeah, harold...if you ever read this, email me. we'll get together. and make out.






tom cavanagh. lets face it. "ed" was a great show. and he was great on it. who doesn't like a bowling alley lawyer? and the other night, i caught a bit of Love Monkey (RIP), which seemed pretty good. especially because the part i caught had him holding a baby. and who doesn't love a cute guy holding a baby? it speaks directly to my (far future) idea of wedded bliss and baby makin'. he and pete wentz sort of have the same kind of smile going on. huh. i never noticed that before.








and finally, in honor of tonight's much anticipated (really which episode isn't much anticipated) episode of LOST, the final fake boyfriend for this post...

Matthew Fox.

personally, i think this photo speaks volumes.

but it should be noted that i was a party of five officianado, and enjoy seeing my charlie salinger on television once again (in a much, much hotter setting and role).





*after telling my friend Jessica about what i was writing about today, she noted that she'd like to see me have a real boyfriend, if only for the real sex. I'm not currently looking, but i'm open to the possibility.